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Dec. 28th, 2018 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
colebaltblueI wrote my mom an email after writing that last entry and sent it last night, around midnight.
Then this afternoon we went over to do Christmas gifts with her and my siblings.
I'm 99.9% sure she hadn't seen the email yet.
T asked me how I was when we left and I just shrugged. It was about as I expected - my mom is my mom and I love her - but that doesn't really change anything. It was nice seeing my siblings, but it's awkward too? I don't see them often and we're not really close. Mostly I hear about what they're doing because I talk to my mom. So it's not like I'm being frozen out of this super tight-knit family or anything here, but still it's different than when T's family visits and they make a point of figuring out a way to see us every single day they are in town.
Out of the week to week and half that my siblings were all in town I got to see one brother for a few hours for an impromptu dinner (that my mom tried to cancel on me because she noticed a thing on our family calendar that said we were going to a party that night for the kids and I had to say, "no, we canceled the party, because we'd rather have dinner with family"), for a couple of hours this afternoon to exchange gifts, and for a dinner I'm hosting on Sunday that I insisted on doing. That's it. They all spent the rest of the holidays together and without us in any capacity.
Yeah, and we have young kids and a dog and that makes our house a bit chaotic. But we're open to alternatives!
Anyway. Like I said, it was as I expected. I enjoy being around my family so I had a nice time, but at the same time, we showed up with the kids late (the youngest slept until 3pm for her nap) we opened presents, we fed our kids some snacks, and we left. And that was about it. Like I don't want my kids to only know their cousin and aunts/uncles every other year for an hour or two to exchange gifts? Like come the fuck on. My older was so excited to go to his grandmother's because he thought it was a sleepover and was so disappointed to realize it wasn't.
But I was sad because after I got home I sent a text to my mom confirming the time for them to come over on Sunday (come over before dinner and socialize!) to eat and letting her know I'd love if people came by tomorrow to join us for a walk or something and I got a confirmation on what time they'd be over for dinner on Sunday and radio silence about Saturday.
My mom did invite me and the kids to her house on the coast in order to give T a break for a Monday that I have off and she doesn't. I might do it just to fucking do it. Tracy doesn't necessarily like it when I fuck off with the kids without her, but it'll give her a break, it's a day that I have off and she doesn't, my mom has to be on the coast for a house-related reason, and often I deal with having both kids by myself by keeping as busy as possible.
Then this afternoon we went over to do Christmas gifts with her and my siblings.
I'm 99.9% sure she hadn't seen the email yet.
T asked me how I was when we left and I just shrugged. It was about as I expected - my mom is my mom and I love her - but that doesn't really change anything. It was nice seeing my siblings, but it's awkward too? I don't see them often and we're not really close. Mostly I hear about what they're doing because I talk to my mom. So it's not like I'm being frozen out of this super tight-knit family or anything here, but still it's different than when T's family visits and they make a point of figuring out a way to see us every single day they are in town.
Out of the week to week and half that my siblings were all in town I got to see one brother for a few hours for an impromptu dinner (that my mom tried to cancel on me because she noticed a thing on our family calendar that said we were going to a party that night for the kids and I had to say, "no, we canceled the party, because we'd rather have dinner with family"), for a couple of hours this afternoon to exchange gifts, and for a dinner I'm hosting on Sunday that I insisted on doing. That's it. They all spent the rest of the holidays together and without us in any capacity.
Yeah, and we have young kids and a dog and that makes our house a bit chaotic. But we're open to alternatives!
Anyway. Like I said, it was as I expected. I enjoy being around my family so I had a nice time, but at the same time, we showed up with the kids late (the youngest slept until 3pm for her nap) we opened presents, we fed our kids some snacks, and we left. And that was about it. Like I don't want my kids to only know their cousin and aunts/uncles every other year for an hour or two to exchange gifts? Like come the fuck on. My older was so excited to go to his grandmother's because he thought it was a sleepover and was so disappointed to realize it wasn't.
But I was sad because after I got home I sent a text to my mom confirming the time for them to come over on Sunday (come over before dinner and socialize!) to eat and letting her know I'd love if people came by tomorrow to join us for a walk or something and I got a confirmation on what time they'd be over for dinner on Sunday and radio silence about Saturday.
My mom did invite me and the kids to her house on the coast in order to give T a break for a Monday that I have off and she doesn't. I might do it just to fucking do it. Tracy doesn't necessarily like it when I fuck off with the kids without her, but it'll give her a break, it's a day that I have off and she doesn't, my mom has to be on the coast for a house-related reason, and often I deal with having both kids by myself by keeping as busy as possible.
