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Jan. 4th, 2019 11:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
colebaltblueOur youngest is turning 2 this week. Exciting! What's not exciting is hosting a birthday for a 2 year old in a 1,100 square foot house in the winter. Last year we had 50 adults in our house over 2 hours. This year we said nope. We also decided not to spend the money on hosting something at a local event space. She's too young to care/remember and those are expensive. We have plenty of birthdays ahead of us where we'll do that, let's not start too early.
T got, well, attacked, on messenger from two friends who are hurt over not being "invited" to a party that doesn't exist. When she tried to explain she had a play date planned with a couple of other moms for that day but it wasn't a birthday party they doubled-down on her. One brought up her miscarriage and how her baby would've been the same age so it was super-exclusionary. The other brought up the fact that she had seen T out at dinner with a mutual acquaintance and that hurt her feelings a lot because SHE didn't get invited to dinner. First of all, creepy. Second of all, not everything is about you?
Two things: 1) neither of these moms are particularly close to T and I, 2) they don't have kids the same age as our 2-year old so we didn't invite them to the play date.
I feel especially bad for T because this is pushing every single one of her insecurity negative core belief inner voice. Every. Single. One.
I keep reassuring her, this isn't about her. This is their bullshit and they are putting it on her and that isn't fair and it has nothing to do with who she is as a person. I told her, she's a good friend to them, she hasn't done anything wrong, she doesn't deserve what they are doing, and that it is unfair what is happening.
But I'm livid at them.
T got, well, attacked, on messenger from two friends who are hurt over not being "invited" to a party that doesn't exist. When she tried to explain she had a play date planned with a couple of other moms for that day but it wasn't a birthday party they doubled-down on her. One brought up her miscarriage and how her baby would've been the same age so it was super-exclusionary. The other brought up the fact that she had seen T out at dinner with a mutual acquaintance and that hurt her feelings a lot because SHE didn't get invited to dinner. First of all, creepy. Second of all, not everything is about you?
Two things: 1) neither of these moms are particularly close to T and I, 2) they don't have kids the same age as our 2-year old so we didn't invite them to the play date.
I feel especially bad for T because this is pushing every single one of her insecurity negative core belief inner voice. Every. Single. One.
I keep reassuring her, this isn't about her. This is their bullshit and they are putting it on her and that isn't fair and it has nothing to do with who she is as a person. I told her, she's a good friend to them, she hasn't done anything wrong, she doesn't deserve what they are doing, and that it is unfair what is happening.
But I'm livid at them.
