![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 8th, 2019 10:47 amI went and visited a friend this weekend and we took the opportunity to go out to a dive bar we used to frequent in our 20's. It was the exact same.
There was a dude there, late 50's, smarmy, very into his sales job. He would NOT leave us alone. I'm apparently as much of an asshole slightly drunk as I've always been. See, I go in for the complex and creative revenges that teach expensive lessons. We told him multiple times we weren't really interested in chatting with him. First, the soft no, then the slightly more firm but still redirecting no, and finally I said that I was visiting a friend and wanted to talk to her and just her and he still didn't take the no.
When he showed up yet AGAIN with his bud light in a bottle to chat I told him what he needed was a vacation. He told me he took vacations all the time because he was rich and wanted to take me on vacation. He pulled out his phone and offered to book one right then and there. All right, my dude, you asked for it. So I started laying it on thick - telling him that I could read his soul and that he needed to greet the sunrise from the top of half-dome in Yosemite. I told him he needed a spiritual reawakening to rejuvenate and recharge his soul. I went on and on about how much he was going to benefit from these changes in his life I was helping him make and I sat there and helped him book his tickets to Yosemite, make his hotel reservations, sign up for yoga, and register for a spiritual retreat at a local meditation center all with deposits. (If you know anything about hiking half-dome, that won't work either since you need to lottery for passes to access it)
All in all, we spent about 15 minutes "changing his life".
Have fun, my dude, waking up to all those confirmation emails and non-refundable deposits!
There was a dude there, late 50's, smarmy, very into his sales job. He would NOT leave us alone. I'm apparently as much of an asshole slightly drunk as I've always been. See, I go in for the complex and creative revenges that teach expensive lessons. We told him multiple times we weren't really interested in chatting with him. First, the soft no, then the slightly more firm but still redirecting no, and finally I said that I was visiting a friend and wanted to talk to her and just her and he still didn't take the no.
When he showed up yet AGAIN with his bud light in a bottle to chat I told him what he needed was a vacation. He told me he took vacations all the time because he was rich and wanted to take me on vacation. He pulled out his phone and offered to book one right then and there. All right, my dude, you asked for it. So I started laying it on thick - telling him that I could read his soul and that he needed to greet the sunrise from the top of half-dome in Yosemite. I told him he needed a spiritual reawakening to rejuvenate and recharge his soul. I went on and on about how much he was going to benefit from these changes in his life I was helping him make and I sat there and helped him book his tickets to Yosemite, make his hotel reservations, sign up for yoga, and register for a spiritual retreat at a local meditation center all with deposits. (If you know anything about hiking half-dome, that won't work either since you need to lottery for passes to access it)
All in all, we spent about 15 minutes "changing his life".
Have fun, my dude, waking up to all those confirmation emails and non-refundable deposits!
